The most ridiculous things ever put on a uni application

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There’s no doubt that writing uni applications can be more than a bit stressful. You need to sell yourself without bragging, sound super knowledgeable without coming across as boring and stand out without sounding silly. Nightmare!

However, while most of us manage to get it right in the end, there are still some poor souls out there who get it wrong. Very, very wrong. You can check out our guide to crafting the perfect personal statement here, but for now, let’s just call this a complete guide to what not to do…

"What is physics? I don’t know, that’s why I want to take it at university…" 

Remember what we said about sounding knowledgeable about your subject? Whatever you do, don’t apply for courses where you don’t have even a vague clue what the subject actually is, or at least imply that is the case. Admissions teams won’t like it, trust us.

"Ever since I watched Shaun the Sheep on CBBC, I have been passionate about becoming a farmer"

It’s good to have an idol, but we can’t help but feel it would be better if they weren’t fictional and aimed at children under the age of 5? Ok this is certainly a very creative application, and this student was probably just trying to stand out, but it stood out for all the wrong reasons. Baaaaa.

"I think medicine is a very challenging career, but the hard work pays off – literally!"

Here at Whatuni, we generally believe that honesty is the best policy. However, if this is truly your motivation for applying to uni, in this instance we advocate saying nothing at all. Admissions want to hear that you have a passion for the subject and learning more about it, not a passion to be rolling in all the monies when you graduate.

"I’m hoping to pass my driving test so I can drive to – insert university name here – every day!"

OK, so most universities know they won’t be the only institution you’re applying to, but you don’t need to make it obvious. They want to at least believe you only want to attend their uni, rather than knowing the truth, which is there are up to four others out there for you...

"I have a black belt in Karate and enjoy marital arts"

We’re not sure if that was too much information or just a typo, but either way, it was definitely a mistake…

"I am well-respected by my classmates. At school, I hold the position of head bog and it is a post I am performing well"

Even spell check wouldn’t have saved this one. Proof if anything that asking friends, family and anyone passing your house to check, double and triple check your application before sending it. Mum was definitely not consulted on this application.

"In my personal life I would not like a life partner, I would like to be single as I hate the idea of marriage. I would like to keep in touch with my friend Isheeta"

This person may have taken the “personal” part of personal statement a little too literally. If your statement sounds like something you’d text a friend or an entry to a blog then press the delete key immediately, before the admissions teams deletes your application for you.

"JK Rowling had her midnight cafes, Roald Dahl’s garden shed has produced wheelbarrows of children’s literature and the Bronte sisters roamed the vast expanse of the Yorkshire moors. I personally retreat to a caravan at the bottom of the garden…"

Um….OK? I mean, what does this even mean? We can picture the confused faces of the admissions team now while the throw the application in the bin.

"On an application to study law: “Has the jury reached a verdict yet?"

They have: Guilty of crimes against humour. The verdict? Application denied.

"I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the areas of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently" 

We’re sure at least one of these things is true? We’re assuming it’s the remodelling train stations because that seems the most likely. But we’re probably being really naive.

Either way we doubt their time was managed effectively, especially given the fact that they spent time writing that paragraph in their application.

NEXT STEP: WRITE A BETTER PERSONAL STATEMENT